Pro(b)log

An ultimate immune-system has not  been invented yet, for human Relationship based interactions.

Well, as unique mammals, we seem to have an enhanced built-in habit to involuntarily attach suffering to our “goodbyes”, kind of a “must-pay” SAT (Sadness Added Tax).

Yep, Surely, Divorce is a very complex Goodbye…

Sometimes we’re the initiators, sometimes we’re not.

While going through the process, are we acting out our own role and true will ( What do I want, why? how do I want it? what would be the best way to deal with it, choose etc.)? or are we acting out our Mammal fundamental instincts ( Fight or flee, friend or foe, Lawyers, Survival...) ?

Let's Imagine a Post-Divorce scene which does not necessarily have the look & feel of a Crime scene, and can actually have humanly sane grounds & seeds to enable a safe move forward.  

There is defiantly no formula on “How to do it right” but true hints and insights are there to be found.

After a very successful personal experience and after coaching multiple couples on ways to avoid the default and make it happen, I felt it’s time to share it on-line.

Feel free to share, tip, ask, challenge and communicate your lines, photos, Art using this blog stage.

Adam

Lot's Wife - Take it forward

This post is dedicated to all of us that have so many excuses on why to look back,
while forgetting to look forward...

Lot’s wife 


They say I looked back out of curiosity.
But I could have had other reasons:


I looked back mourning my silver bowl.
Carelessly, while tying my sandal strap.
So I wouldn't have to keep staring at the righteous back
of my husband Lot's neck.
From the sudden belief that if I dropped dead
he wouldn't so much as hesitate.
From the disobedience of my silent will.
Checking for pursuers.
Struck by the silence, hoping God had changed his mind.
Our two daughters were already vanishing over the hilltop.
I felt age within me. Distance.
The pointless action of wandering. Energy drained.
I looked back setting my bundle down.
I looked back not knowing where to set my foot.
Serpents appeared on my path,
spiders, field mice, baby vultures.
They were neither good nor evil now--every living thing
was simply creeping or hopping along in the mass panic.
I looked back in despair.
In shame because we had stolen away.
Wanting to cry out, to go home.
Or only when a sudden gust of wind
unbound my hair and lifted up my robe.
It seemed to me that they were watching from the walls of Sodom
and bursting into thunderous laughter again and again.
I looked back in anger.
To savor and enjoy their terrible fate.
I looked back for all the reasons given above.
I looked back involuntarily.
It was only a rock that turned underfoot, roaring at me.
It was a sudden crack that stopped me in my tracks.
A hamster on its hind paws tottered on the edge.
It was then we both glanced back.
No, no. I ran on,
I crept, I flew upward
until darkness fell from the heavens
and with it roasting stones and dead birds.
I couldn't breathe and spun around and around.
Anyone who saw me must have thought I was dancing.
It's not inconceivable that my eyes were open.
It's possible I fell facing the city.


Wisława Szymborska (2 July 1923 – 1 February 2012)